Family

 

Home Life
-every-other-month update on 'family matters'



For 2024 (continuous, until further notice)

Keep In Touch with Family



It can be hard to keep in touch with family. So many of us are busy once we reach adulthood and take on responsibility. Indeed, in most major countries, one has to not only make a living but also make decisions that can impact the rest of his or her life. It is important to take time to think about what one wants to do and how he or she will do it. That is not to say that if a spontaneous event or choice comes up, one must sulk, regret or be doomed for eternity - in fact, it might just mean Life had a different choice, or perhaps, someone followed his or her heart or journey. What matters most is how one chooses to live his or her life through all possibilities and circumstances while staying close to those he or she loves most.

Usually, when one is busy living life, it can become harder to keep in touch with others. Most of us try or do keep in touch with family and then friends, and possibly those we always want to be around, but let us not forget those who we hardly see. Some of us might not even be able to keep in touch with family members or best friends or even old friends from childhood. We get busy, and at the same time, we need to make time to be with those we love. Granted, spending time with each other takes more than one to make it happen, but the least we can do is try. 

While we live, work and breathe, we should remain open to our surroundings and our loved ones. Though most of us are constantly busy, we should keep in touch with those we love and cherish, but also make an effort toward those we might not have ended varying situations on good terms with or simply lost contact but think about a lot, which may include distant relatives, old friends or even, those who might be good for our loneliness. 

Whoever one calls family, it is important to stay in touch and make the effort to do so. We do not want to regret the time we could have made a difference, not just in somebody else's life, but in opening up ourselves to others. 

Live freely, responsibly and happily, and cherish those you hold most dear!

Until next time, 
-Lizzi Paz


~In Memory of Mark 🌹



Older Entries:


Jan/Feb 2022 

Giving Each Other space

With the havoc COVID-19 is wrecking on families, it would be wise to try and give each other space. This is not only important for quarantine but also necessary for mental health. At a time when family members can be inside and closer than ever, it is wise to remember most of us can use some space and time to self. Quietness, solitude and peace are welcoming when one feels overwhelmed or in a rut.

There is nothing wrong when asking for some time or space. In fact, it can be healthier if we find a place where one can be him or herself without explanation or tending to others. Some may be able to think more clearly, be more creative, get some rest or simply enjoy the moment. Though it may seem selfish if some appear to do it more often than others, most of us can agree that we should give others some time and space.

Kids usually need their own time and space in a safe place, too. Though most tend to be energetic and in need of sunlight, fresh air and open space, it is wise for parents to remember that kids can also get easily overwhelmed and may just need rest or quiet. Though most parents have had practice with nap time, it may be harder when kids grow and prefer to do more. However, even if kids do not seem to need a place and time to rest, having a sense of quiet with tranquil surroundings can be good for their health, as it also promotes a moment of peace with one's self.

Even if so many seem to have all the space they need, it is also a good time to remember that sometimes, some of us have too much time and space. We may find ourselves alone and even sad if we are not surrounded by others who can offer us warmth, company and kindness. Sometimes we may just need someone to listen or give advice, but it is overall important to recall how to ask for time when we need it and how to ask for help when it is needed.



Nov/Dec 2021 

Elderly Care

As important as it is to care for kids, it is equally important to care for seniors, especially those who grow old and need extra care.  It matters because not only is it a respectful act among family, it is family! That is all that should matter when it comes to kin and even true friends that we care for and love who also love us back ... even those who may not.

It seems as if caring for the elderly has been left out of dominant society when it comes to work, adulthood and separate households. To start, elderly couples can usually retire together in their own place or a senior community and be fine. Others, however, are either single or left alone (perhaps after becoming a widow) and must endure life on a more single basis. This is when it is particularly important to provide elderly care to those who have lost a close partner and may not be able to be alone or take care of self. 

Often times in major countries, people are told to save for retirement and plan on how to do it. Do seniors want to stay with loved ones or continue to live on their own if they tend to be alone? Will they have the help of a caretaker or do they need to participate in programs which help with cooking, cleaning, and daily tasks? This may not only apply to more elderly seniors, but anyone who may have a health condition or situation in which more help is needed. There is nothing wrong with asking for a little more help than usual. 

Overall, it is wise for families to plan who can and is able to care for family members (or even neighbors) who may need some extra help. This is natural progression as many may often need more help than can be admitted. Yes, it is wise to find ways to take care of self and needs, but it is not often the choice for many. Some simply have to ask others for help and may even need more daily help than was needed in prior times. Let us make sure we can do what we can to help and have patience.


Sep/Oct 2021 

Giving Kids their space



It is very important that kids have their space! As kids grow older, it usually requires they have more space to become a growing teenager. Indeed, kids will change and so will their attitudes. It is how parents react and also respond which will determine how they, themselves, respond.

There is no doubt that some kids go from carefree and innocent to moody and opinionated. Sure, some of it is due to hormones, but some of their growth can also be due to how they interact with others, what they learn in school and how they socialize. Most kids in USA may learn a lot of their socialization in school settings and in dealing with adults, particularly their elders. Some kids may find they do not spend enough time with their parents and may even have to beg for their attention in subtle ways, like acting out! Really, it comes down to who is teaching kids to grow and learn. Usually, teachers and caregivers are some of the most influential humans in a kid's life. Most parents just have to make sure these adults, or alternatives, are substituting their parental duty, adequately, if they find themselves working a lot or having to be absent.

It is not easy to parent or be an influence to those who are not only growing naturally but are experiencing new feelings and being more attentive to older-kid type of stuff. For instance, even though many kids may learn about the birds and the bees through some extracurricular lesson at school, it is wise for parents to make sure that both they and their children have an understanding of such knowledge, and preferably, in a safe and responsible manner.

It is usually not a child's fault or wise decision to know what to expect or how to act when it comes to more older-kid things, such as hanging out in social circles, relating to the opposite sex, or even trying new things. As parents, the best a responsible adult can do is to give good, sound advice and keep an eye or ear open to when a child has questions or exhibits unfamiliar behavior. It is not that the person responsible needs to know everything or be everywhere at each time, it is that the adult or person responsible has to have trust and confidence.

Kids will do what kids do best, which is learn, experience and have curiosity, even be easily-influenced. It is natural for kids to grow up and try new things, but it is up to the person or people responsible for how the child reacts or responds. Trust may be hard to keep but so is having complete confidence in a child's ability to make correct, responsible decisions. Though not every parent will be able to rescue or prevent their child from making bad, different, or consequential decisions, most parents can usually hope for the best in that their child, or children, will learn from their mistakes and grow from it.


Jun/Jul 2021 

Ending the Quarantine in 2021

The time has come where quarantine has ended for most of those living in the US. Even though graduations have taken place, some appeared to have still been socially-distant and even had required masks. Though it may have been difficult for families to properly celebrate the achievement of another school year, it had indeed been tried and true to accomplish such a task under the precautions of COVID-2019.

All parents and kids, even bosses deserve some recognition when it comes to how difficult it was in getting through this last school year, which could have been mostly online for many students. Though screen time may have been tough to endure for most families, what may have been tougher was the lack of physical education. Indeed, kids tend to need an outlet, which often means time away from home to go out to an area where they can not only be active but interact with friends. All kinds of parents probably tried hard to compensate for the lack of activities available, but it was likely just as hard to juggle students at home with online learning, handle household chores, and be a much-needed cook. 

Most parents, students, grandparents, and even teachers may be sighing a big amount of relief now that the past school year is over and done. At least a lot can take comfort in knowing they were not alone in quite an unique journey. Now that it is summer break for all kinds of students, it is important to take note of some relaxation techniques and even allowing kids some space to move around. Though many may be eager to get out and continue life-as-usual, it is wise to remember kids under 12 years old cannot get vaccinated against COVID-2019 or variants of it at this time. 

A lot of people will live their life as he or she or they seem fit. Though it is good for one's own health and well-being to socialize, be around others, and get outdoors, it is also wise to remember that some of our fellow neighbors, co-workers, and visitors to our area (as we can be to theirs) may be still be susceptible to the harsh and deadly virus; therefore, we should all still take precautions and act in courteous manners to not only thwart this infectious disease but act kindly toward one another.



Mar/Apr 2021 

Back to School, 2021

It is stated there is a lot of pent-up energy due to closures from COVID-2019, the disease which has reportedly killed over 500,000 American lives. Indeed, many families and especially kids are most likely stuck at home and ready to get out to play sports, interact with friends and even learn. Listening to teachers lecture on a screen does not sound fun and it is healthier for students to be out in a safe setting where they can be around others and even be guaranteed to eat. Kids need to go back to school!

Although there are eager parents out there who would like to see their kids get back in the classroom, it is wise to remember that it should be in a safe environment. Unfortunately, COVID does affect kids and anyone under age 16 years of age is not eligible for the vaccine that reportedly decreases the symptoms of the disease. It is also important that teachers and other school staff are safe to do their job and be protected against the coronavirus causing COVID-2019 and variants of it.

There are steps to get kids back to school and prepping them to go is one way of ensuring an easier transition. For instance, parents can do a mid-year "Back To School" event where they either order online or safely take their kids to the store to get school supplies, such as a new backpack, new clothes, notebooks, art supplies and anything else which will remind students of returning back to the classroom. It may also be smart to have kids exercise again at a nearby park or widespread area where it is still safe and sanitary. Children often thrive from fresh air and letting out their energy.

Another procedure which may help includes developing a routine. Perhaps some parents can exchange time, prior to returning to school, to taking their own kids and neighborhood ones out on an adventure and showing how to properly protect themselves with Personal Protective Equipment (PPE), including the use of a mask, sanitizer, and maybe even antiviral wipes. Also, children tend to be excited with other kids, so it is wise to continue to show them how to social-distance, wash hands, and stay protected.

Although parents may be eager to send their kids back to school, and some if not most children are excited to return, it is a good idea to prepare and show students how to ease back into it. Some may not be as receptive as others, but like all of us adjusting to the effects of what COVID-2019 has shown us, we must do what we can to ensure our well-being and those of our children.



Jan/Feb 2021 

Parents need a Break

The year 2020 has been quite different from other years. With the spread of a coronavirus which could lead to the novel disease COVID-2019, many economies have changed to include some sort of shutdown or slowing in engagement toward others. This has also hit many education centers, particularly public schools in which parents may rely on and kids may need.

It must be hard, as parents, to sort through such confusion. Some schools are delayed in reopening until the deadly virus is under strict control - none really want to risk this new virus affecting others, particularly if persons have vulnerable health conditions.

It is important for parents to catch a break! It is difficult in a year which has resulted in sheltering in place and social distancing from others. Still, many have found creative ways to continue to keep in touch and act as if all is normal, and in some cases, it can be - kids can still learn, even from a computer and parents can still work, even from home. It is different because many are not as engaged as when normal consisted of going out and having a routine, and some parents do not even have the luxury to keep a regular schedule.

Many parents may find it hard to get some time alone as a couple and some may even want individual time to unwind. It would be wise to schedule some time away for each parent, or if the parent is single, it would be wise for that parent to find assistance in getting some free time. Parenting can be hard when so much is being asked of the person responsible; therefore, it is wise to take breaks. Even if eating at the counter and taking a deep breath is all one can muster, that is great! It is still a good idea to find other creative ways to take breaks, however, even if that means taking an extended, relaxing shower or something.

There are resources one can use for childcare assistance, if needed. Some may have more difficulty in finding resources than others, depending on where that person lives. Most incorporated areas, for instance, have government assistance in providing options to help with childcare, healthcare, school, and other urgent matters. If anything else, speak to someone who can assist.


2020 

Discipline

Humans need discipline or boundaries. We need limitations when we are acting or thinking irrationally. Some of us may need to vent or melt away frustration, but it is important to remember to discipline one's self. Without discipline, we may run amok and make further mistakes we later regret. Discipline is good.

When one thinks of the word, discipline, one may think of parents who yell, scream or hit their children to get them to comply. However, discipline usually entails a parent taking action to prevent their child, or children from making a mistake or preventable accident. Granted, kids need discipline when it comes to such childhood habits as being mean, teasing others, physically picking on someone, or simply not listening. Although many parents may want to set limitations when a child is misbehaving, there are times when a child may just need a hug or reassurance. We cannot be too quick to think that a child is purposely acting up or has an intent to harm or tease. Though it is wise to have patience, sometimes a firm declaration or even the use of body language helps to have a child focus on the current situation and decipher whether it is a serious matter or not.

At this time, while dealing with COVID-2019, it is good to remember that tempers may be high and many may not be focusing on patience, kindness, or consideration. Some people are on edge or carry a lot of anxiety that he or she can forget how to be patient or considerate of others; kids can be the same way when cooped up indoors or unable to comprehend what is going on right now. Remember to be patient with children (or anyone who appears on edge) and take a deep breath if necessary. We are all going through this together and can hopefully help one another remain calm.




Staying at Home with kids (COVID-19 Special*)

Most schools will be out until Summer due to the severity of COVID-2019. The deadly virus has made its way all over the planet and is now impacting the USA in a serious and mundane way. Schools and colleges are closed, more adults are working from home or going on unemployment, and kids are most likely staying home until the next school year. How do parents make it when lives from all over are being disrupted?

Kids will be kids no matter what! Sure, it may take more creativity (and the internet) to keep children occupied but there are so many educational and life skills that they can learn. Also, with the abundance of ideas spreading throughout the world wide web (which parents must still monitor,) it would be wise to spend more time with your children and less time worrying about what comes next. Just in case, however, here are some ideas to keep everyone occupied:

  • Create a schedule - Kids need some sort of routine to stay focused and aware of what is to come next. It would be nice to create a schedule similar to that of school but probably more realistic for home. For instance, kids will be distracted with the TV no matter what, so it is better to incorporate it into the schedule rather than go without it. Kids should have a generous amount of free-time to unwind, but not be so overly-distracted that he or she will throw a tantrum when it is time to get serious and go back to learning.
  • Learn something new - Because of the internet and abundance of information, most of us can research new projects or delve into something new. Are you, your child or partner interested in gardening? Outer Space? Typing? Well, this is a great opportunity to do some research and learn something new. Get at it!
  • Chores. Chores. Chores - Most of us can admit cleaning is no fun but it must be done. Sure, kids and most of us would rather make a mess than clean-up but that could be the fun of it! Kids can learn how to correctly participate in an activity, which means time to clean up and put stuff away. Although it might take time for kids to learn it is their duty to pick things up that they, themselves, use, it is not too late to show them the necessity of keeping things clean, as well as being helpful.
  • Downtime - Staying busy is important, especially if many of us (but mostly children) have so much energy! There are times when we must catch our breath and rest, and kids are no exception. What used to be a required or much-needed nap usually turns out to be missed, unwanted or no longer needed. That is okay, as long as many of us can take one moment to sit or lie down, perhaps have a drink of water and enjoy some peace and quiet. We can even label the moment as Quiet Time.

No matter what a parent, guardian, friend or neighbor might do to help out children or kids from their own neighborhood, we must remember this pandemic was unexpected but has taught many of us how to be patient and thoughtful. Yes, our normal ways of life have been disrupted, but we must prioritize health and safety of so many people. We must all remember to take care out there and get a balance of entertainment and rest, especially for the parents, and in particular, for everyone's mental health.

(*Revised and Extended during 2020 COVID-19 Pandemic)



2019 


Summer Vacation is Here! (Northern Hemisphere)

Summer sunset

Most students are on vacation during the summer, and with differing calendars, one must wonder what these kids are doing nowadays. With such changes to their often strict schedule, unbelievable access to wi-fi and technology, and even sweltering longer days, there a few things kids can do to keep cool and happy during their time off. Here are a few suggestions for parents:
  • Let them rest - As much as being busy is exciting and may make one feel important, it is a good idea to rest as much as possible. Summertime schedules were meant for relaxation and play, and plainly, to forget about school! Though it is important to rest the brain, parents should ensure kids also have educational material to use during their break to replenish much-sought after material they have learned. Just remember to tell them it is a good idea to rest in-between study periods, too.
  • Give them choices - Working parents know the value of giving kids choices on things they may want to do while on break. Though most children may seek technology and the internet, it is a good idea to invest some time and money into day camps, overnight camping programs, or even visiting a loved one who hardly gets to see them while they are in school. Tablets and phones may occupy a lot of youngsters, but a baking session or painting with a relative may prove irreplaceable when it comes to time well-spent.
  • Keep it family-oriented - Visiting friends and family during the summer should strongly be considered, especially during the summer as more people have some free time to hang out and even go somewhere. It would be nice for children to desire to be with their family as some also grow older and strive for more independence, but most of the time, they want to hang out with their friends or go online. The point, however, is to bond and build secure relationships which can last years, if not nearly a lifetime, so seek those meaningful relationships, even if it is with friends who feel like family. Just make sure you completely trust every person with your kids!
  • Spend time outside - Part of having longer and warmer days is the need and desire to go outside. Having the sun's energy upon us replenishes much needed Vitamin D through our skin, even though many of us also need to be careful of exposing it to an overwhelming sun. It is also advisable to get fresh air since it is good for our lungs and any breathing exercises which help reinvigorate our internal organs, so go out and get some fresh air, daily! If one has to sit or lay around the house, office, or other facility all day, it is a good idea to include a time to get up and get some clean air, if possible. It may be hard for some to find an open breeze or outdoor moment, but it is somewhat necessary for human health. Go get some fresh air and breathe! Your lungs will thank you.
It is important to remember that kids have needs pertaining to rest and activity. Though many kids in industrialized nations spend a lot of time on electronics or connected to the internet, it is vital to remain active outdoors, even if it is to take a simple walk around the neighborhood - safely, of course! There are many ways to find something to do during the summer for both parent and student or kids, so be sure to find ways to take it easy and get outdoors.



Work Time. Family Time. Summertime.*

It is impossible to compete with those who do not have children when it comes to work. Well, of course! There will be times when parents must meet the demands of their babies, kids, and/or teens but that does not reflect poorly on a person who is at work. When a person is on the clock, that person is usually in work mode, and though there are bits of reality which relate to those who have children, it does not mean that worker is any less productive just because he or she has an urgent matter or something planned ahead! So what if someone asks for more time off - chances are he or she has to make it up any way, or they are willing to do someone else a favor and cover for that person. Do not be so quick to judge!

I can surely guess when people started to become more disconnected, and though I also use technology to be somewhat social and write, I notice when I have to be present in the moment of my immediate surroundings. I do not understand laziness when it comes to being productive; though, I understand procrastination for really important projects. Though this may reflect in my work (which does not with the exception of personal writing,) I am capable of contributing in various ways, despite also doing the work which is asked of me.

When summertime comes around, parents have even more to juggle than usual. It is not an excuse over summer camps, grandparents, and vacation time; it is simply acknowledgment that kids are out of school and almost everyone is in a summertime mood in the northern hemisphere. Summer to many means hot weather, light clothes, and cooling off. No matter how one spends his or her summer, it is essential that parents take it easy during such a hectic time.

This debate on singles verses working parents, or just parents in general, is really divisive. Family households are top contributors to an economy and just because they may not have as much disposable income as those without children does not deem them worthless or unimportant! I must insist that those who think families are loud or obnoxious really have no sense of community. Though I understand why so many would not want the responsibility of raising a family, it is a natural process which has been happening for millennia and is great for the future of humanity. Sure, there are those who believe humans are the number one contributor to the destruction of our planet, but the truth is that anyone who innovates, practices, or creates waste is contributing to changes on Earth while Earth itself is changing. There is always something greater or smaller toward each species and while humans have an unmatched intellect right now, it is better to work together than apart. That is why respect should be given in fair and just ways, which include kindness, compassion, and patience. Anyone who understands the needs of a child or teen knows things can go unplanned and improvised, and that is why we must all have patience and empathy for one another.

*Revised from an original form, titled, "Work Time. Family Time."



Spring Break

Spring Break is a wonderful occurrence for students. Indeed, they get to relax, take a vacation, and flat-out not go to school. Who does not look forward to a day or more off from pressing responsibilities and commitments? Spring Break ought to be cherished by most - perhaps with the exception of those panicking, working parents.

It must be hard to plan out where a young child will spend his or her Spring Break if one works full-time and/or relies on others for assistance. Sometimes, it has to be with grandparents or at a daycare, so some kids may not be able to enjoy the full experience of staying at home and waking up whenever. Some get to hang out in their pajamas all day and simply dig for snacks while Mom or Dad, or both, figure out the rest of the day and mealtimes. Indeed, it must be nice for those kids who get to stay home during their break, but for those who must match the schedule of their busy, working parent(s) by leaving the house early and returning later on, it should be noted to parents:
  1. Prepare Ahead of Time - This is a no-brainer! Most parents know that getting almost everything ready the night before is helpful in the morning. That is because with a child, or children, one does not really know how much time he or she will need to get ready and get going! Therefore, it is important to be prepared ahead of time and just have mostly everything ready to go the prior night.
  2. Keep it Fun! - It is important that children take a break from a busy schedule (as well as the parent.) Even though working parents may have to stick to a strict schedule, it can be fun for baby or big kid to have extra goodies in their bag-to-go so that they can think of you, the parent, as well as have an extra treat. Such goodies can include a new book, an extra snack, a special meal, or even a quick lil' note, or toy which makes a child feel happy and appreciated or loved.
  3. Do Something Extra! - Okay, sure, a break should mostly be relaxing and just that - a break! It can be hard for some, and especially for young children and parents who work, so even though a family may be extremely tired from busy days, it may be nice to do something extra! This can include going out to dinner, going out on the weekend, buying something small and nice yet rewarding, or simply visiting friends and family (and possibly asking for a break!) Whatever a parent choses, it would be wise for him or her to think of all the hard work they have put in.
  4. Cherish the Time - Loving one another as much as possible is very important. Sure, many of us can get frustrated or just plainly feel tired, or overwhelmed, so it is a good idea to cherish one's time and act (or rest) accordingly. Perhaps packing up a bag can be held off until early morning, but the best option is to just get it done and get some rest. There are many ways to unwind, but the best choices can be to revitalize and refresh.
Spring Break can be celebrated if parents, children, family, and friends work together as a community and do what is best for all involved. Parents need breaks just as much as students and young children, (and especially babies) so it would be wise to use time in a good manner, prepare for a busy day ahead of schedule, and just cherish each other in the best way possible. Get sleep, if needed, and remember to also ask for help when needed.



An Eco-Living New Year Resolution

(Pic: Unknown via Instagram)

Check out this You-Tube video on Minimalist Living, for the well-being of your family and our future life on Planet Earth: 

(Informational Purpose Only)



This post was extended due to its importance and for those families who would like to try to minimize their pollution and waste. It is as important as the topic of Climate Change, as well as for the future of our kids. Please recycle! Please find ways to minimize waste! Please keep posting how you (and your family) are making living on Earth more sustainable.



Celebrating with Holiday Parties



Though birthdays occur once a year, and perhaps various times a year if parents have multiple kids, other types of parties can also prove to be hectic when it comes to proper preparation. The celebration of other events can occur frequently in some modern-day societies, so get your party supplies and find good reason to celebrate, have some cake, and enjoy some fun ... unless, of course, you are the host or hostess. With the start to the holiday season coming after the spooky fun of Halloween, it is wise to read up on some ideas which have been previously mentioned about party planning:

1) Plan Ahead of Time
     This is a good one for those who are highly-organized and put emphasis on being prepared. Those who enjoy planning ahead tend to get things done precisely and on-time, so it is important to plan ahead, make sure family is notified, decorations are in place, and the upcoming holiday is coordinated correctly.

2) Invite Your Guests
     Although this appears easy-to-do, at times, some of us forget to call, text, email, or tell someone what we will be doing for our holiday plans. So, make sure to invite those who are more than welcomed to attend your festivities by allowing sufficient time and details, especially if it involves holidays reserved for closer kin. Also, remember not to go overboard due to seating arrangements and space availability.

3) Get Ideas Online and Pick the Best Choices
     Thank Goodness so much ideas and information are available online! It makes it that much easier to plan your holiday party and please your guests. Take advantage by learning which websites coordinate with your holiday theme and preferences. Do not hesitate to ask relatives or friends for help by including a pot-luck theme, BYOB, or requesting a dessert accompany the attendance of your guests.  Be the well-organized host or hostess, but do not stress out about the small details.

4) Buy Everything  ahead of time, if possible
     Even the most impeccable planner might miss something he or she needs for the party! That is why it is important to prepare ahead of time and buy things needed, even if it is checking on a dish, shopping for theme items, or DIY (Do-It-Yourself) decorations. It is smart to buy things needed weeks in advance so that a great host or hostess can focus on other things.

5) Be a Great Host
     After all that preparation, shopping, and last-minute details, most hosts or hostesses should sit and relax for a second. It does not mean slack off or take advantage of precious time, but one must not forget to dress the part and finish any last-minute details (such as cleaning) to ensure a smooth ride during the holiday party. There should be space in the fridge, extra trash bags and foil, and even emphasis on whether guests should remove their shoes or not. Then, look the part and get ready to greet your guests! Do not forget to have fun, even though having a get-together may be stressful. Just make sure you take in the moment as much as your guests.


Happy Holiday Season!



2018

Family as a Unit

The family unit is a strong one - rather, it should be a strong bond between familiar relations. Blood defines kinship but what makes a family is togetherness, respect, care, and perhaps loyalty. Family members should be there for one another. There are times when family members may disagree, but the commitment of staying together should be done by forgiving each other and letting go of the past. At times this may be easier-said-than-done; however, time heals all wounds, or, at least, we should all believe that it does. After all, time appears to be infinite when looked upon as eternity. With the Universe being so vast, any grudges should be buried and forgotten as decaying meat.

There are some who believe that blood does not necessarily make one a family member. In other words, one may look upon another as kin, but ultimately, what may be considered a family member is an actual participant. When one stays together, one does so out of love, commitment, respect, and loyalty. No matter if times get tough, a member of a family will eventually find their way back home, if he or she ever leaves. However, at times, some may wander far, far away. It is important to remember those who choose to leave and wish them well since that is their choice and free-will. Otherwise, staying together means working together to ensure the family is strong, healthy, and manageable. One is building a foundation, after all.

Society can be stressful. It is important to take moments to cherish one another as family. Even if kids must be cared for more than adults and teenagers, it is wise to appreciate each individual at each level of development, particularly the young and elderly. Through centuries of retaining one's background and history, traditions and values, families have stayed together to continue their own clan. Nowadays, many families have dispersed into cities and places of opportunity. Though a family member may travel far and wide in search of prosperity or meaning, remembering such family members can be tough when one thinks of precious moments, and perhaps the opposite for those whom had seldom cherished times. No matter, family is family.


Expectations can lead to suffering

Sometimes, when a family lays expectations upon another, it can set someone up for either disappointment or elation. Sure, when an expectation is met, that person holding another to a high standard is satisfied; however, when the opposite occurs, the person is not only disappointed, but most likely, so is the other person. Certain (unattainable) expectations are not good for each other.

There are some standards that should be met. High achievement, perseverance, loyalty, and honesty are traits which should be expected because it builds good morale. However, if a person expects such character from another, that person should not only make it clear about his or her desire for such outcome, but also, that person should not put all his or her eggs in one basket, per se.

There may come a time in a person's life where he or she may have to rely on very few to meet his or her standards. Even so, that is still setting one's self up for disappointment! Really, when we expect someone else to do something which we desire, we are not allowing that person to continue on with his or her own free will. This can be a good thing if said person tends to make rash or poor decisions. On the other hand, it can also hinder growth. Some people need to try things on their own in order to master it; otherwise, the person setting up the moment for either glory or failure needs to teach or verbalize to that person what he or she expects. For instance, if a 10-year old boy tries to play baseball but often finds himself alone, without friends or family members, he may either continue to try or give up and fail. The parents - whether separated or not - may push for their son to continue trying, but in the long run, it is ultimately up to the child to pursue the hobby or not.

Though children tend to try things and either accept or reject such trial-and-errors, a parent or guardian may continue to push the child. This is not wrong as children often need an extra push. However, if it is hindering growth, a parent should know either his or her child's limits and the level of expectations he or she (or both) are putting on said child. There is a balance which must be retained and that appears to exist in all kinds of relationships - whether it is parent and child, husband and wife, student and teacher, or boss and worker.

Balance is usually key to maintaining so much flurry which seems to exist in today's numerous societies. Expectations are often held high so that many citizens can enjoy a great standard of living and continue to do so for generations. Although there is nothing wrong with setting high desires of outcomes, one must remember that it is okay to just breathe and let the situation, person, or moment be as it comes.




Please note: Most entries will be deleted each month or so and will not be saved, unless otherwise noted. To obtain a copy of an entry, please email Liz P. Vara in advance of deletion. Thank you!





Parenting, kids and the active lifestyle.

-this section is important because of the commitment that goes into having a family and/or being a spouse. Some may be consumed by the demands that a household and family members can place on us, but we stay committed to helping others and doing what we must because we would want it returned to us, genuinely. At times, many of us find ourselves frequently needed and must practice patience while raising a family or being with difficult loved ones. In today's world with its tough demands and tight budgets, at times, it may seem harder to appear that all is well, but with ever-growing factors like assistance and technological advances, there are various ways to find what we need to thrive. We must do what we can with what we have, and remain grateful for it. Take care out there! - Liz P. Vara